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Here are my selections for the All-Fools (April Fools) Team:
QB1 Rex Grossman FA - Yes I'm still in the league, somehow
QB2 Charlie Whitehurst TEN - I love the fact that he looks like a frontman for a death metal band. I just wish they'd have his long hair in the game and that they would let him bark out his signals as cookie-monster growls.
HB1 Miguel Maysonet - Sounds like a video-game generated fictional player name, doesn't it?
HB2 Rex Burkhead CIN - Here so that Grossman wouldn't be the only Rex
HB3 Cyrus Gray KC - The name of Billy Ray Cyrus' new country band
HB4 Michael Cox NYG - Beavis says heh heh heh heh heh heh heh
FB Brad Smelley ATL - (BY POPULAR DEMAND) - Haircut circa 1982
FB Mike Cox ATL/FA - Butthead says heh heh heh heh heh heh heh
WR1 Brittan Golden ARI - Nothing says April Fools more than a bronze card named Golden. He's not a gold card and he sure as hell is not a Golden Ticket. He thinks he is, but we'll be coaching that out of him.
WR2 Andy Tanner NO - Cousin of DJ and Stephanie Tanner
WR3 DeVier Posey HOU - I had a pocket full of them
WR4 Brian Tyms NE - Card pic looks like he's thinking up an April Fools joke
WR5 Alan Bonner HOU - We're going to pronounce it "boner" and call it good.
TE1 Philip Supernaw - That name tho
TE2 Matt Veldman - It just seems right to have Mr. Pack Troll Hockey Face himself on the squad
TE3 DC Jefferson - long-lost obscure cast member from the Jefferson's TV show
LT Bruce Campbell - Boomstick
LG James Brown - gotta have that soul
C Scott Wedige - giving them wedgies
RG Harland Gunn - 70's B-movie star in an alternate reality
RT Gosder Cherilus IND gold - Is that a Star Wars name or a Star Trek name?
LE Brandon Bair PHI - pack troll who looks like he'd make a great BWW manager
LE2 silver Jared Crick HOU - this team is going to be up a crick
DT Jimmy Saddler-McQueen - The team needed a personal injury lawyer
DT Matthew Masifilo - Pack troll but don't quicksell him because he's cursed
DT Kwame Geathers - Might as well be Kwame Brown
DT Linval Joseph - by special request!
RE1 Chas Alecxih - Bad hair, but his last name needs to become a word so I can use it in Scrabble
RE2 Al Woods - pack troll who claims he is Tiger's cousin
LOLB1 Frank Zombo - Best. Italian. Name. Ever.
LOLB2 Jonathan Freeny MIA - Dude you are so not Dwight Freeney!
MLB1 Justin Tuggle HOU - Dude you are so not Jessie Tuggle!
MLB2 Bront Bird FA - What is a Bront Bird? Can I find it at a zoo?
ROLB1 Tim Fugger NYJ - Because Gay Focker wasn't available
ROLB2 Tavares Gooden FA - Best. Face. Mask. Ever.
ROLB3 Dan Skuta SF - My daughter asked for the car but I told her to take the Skuta.
CB1 Terrence Frederick NO - The Hat. Nuff Said.
CB2 Marcus Cromartie SD - Damnit! Why can't you play like a real Cromartie?!
CB3 Taiwan Jones OAK - Made in Taiwan Jones. Kids this is why you buy American.
CB4 Ras-l Dowling NYJ - Added to the team for his close resemblance to Ron Artest. We hope the Madden engine will let us start a brawl in the bleachers.
FS1 Jawanza Starling - They said he's a free safety. But he costs 25 coins in the MUT store and I can only get 3 of him. LIES.
FS2 Bacarri Rambo - Worst Nightmare
SS1 Mark Barron TB - My frustrated hit-stick specialist to take out aggression when this team plays like s**t
SS1 Eric Frampton FA - Not Coming Alive
P Zoltan Mesko - That sci-fi name tho
K Garrett Hartley - proud son of Nina Hartley (google her, but not at work)
WAS uniforms, OAK stadium - Redskins, you are changing your name AND moving to LA! April Fools from Roger Goodell.
Coach Mike Smith - Fired coach who will turn beet red when this team plays like s**t
Marc Trestman offense, John Fox defense - fired coaches playbooks
Team captains - Supernaw, Fugger, Taiwan